Please pick 1 post size.

tequilafemina:

A few minutes ago my coworker said “The sexual position formerly known as 69 will now be referred to as 96. Due to the economy, the price of eating out has gone up.”

My boss is still crying.

sailorswayze:

BULLY LA BULLY FANART

cokeflow:

foxnewsofficial:

hey science side of tumblr there’s a load of blood in my ear what’s up with that

it’s bleedin

jzul:

satans-testicle:

You’re human, you made a human mistake. You did a terrible thing, it doesn’t mean you’re a terrible person.

words of wisdom from satans testicle

"28. Just assume everyone has a weird fetish they’d like to keep secret."

yungbasedblogger:

apparently “bae” means “before anyone else” i always thought it was a ghetto word for “babe”

thevulcantimelord:

moniquill:

othercat2:

no-mercy-in-this-dojo:

droffats-hsoj:

Assets secure.

” You do not have the password…”

keep you bodice safe from ripping with our patented bodice kitten.

Looks like what we have here is a…

[sunglasses]

Boobytrap.

midwest-monster:

broadway antique market

i bought this telegram, because it’s probably the best thing i’ve ever seen.  i’m framing it.  it cost $1.

portalgifs:

NO BUT YOU ALL NEED TO UNDERSTAND HOW FUNNY THIS IS THEYRE LITERALLY FILLING A ROBOT WITH BULLETS, LIKE BULLETS THAT YOU FIRE FROM A GUN. NOW NORMALLY FIRING A GUN TRIGGERS THE BULLET TO EXPLODE CREATING A PRESSURE THAT CAUSES THE TIP OF THE BULLET TO BE FORCED OUT OF THE BARREL AT A HIGH SPEED. 

WHaT CAVE JOHNSON’S TURRET’S DO IS LOAD A TON OF FUCKING BULLETS INTO THE CASE OF THE SENTRY LIKE IT”S A GODDAMN GUMBALL MACHINE AND THEN USE A FUcKIN SPRING LOADED PISTON TO FIRE IT THAT IS SO UNNECESSARY AND INEFFECTIVE LIKE NO WONDER CHELL CAN RESIST SO MANY BULLETS THE LIKELIHOOD ITD CAUSE ANYTHING MORE THAN A BAD BRUISE IS LIKE ONE IN A HUNDRED

raikissu:

calliedope:

thefuuuucomics:

Little lizard

tiny friend

do you ever wonder what creatures this size think about when some thing as large as a person picks them up? Like we’ll never know what that feels like personally. I don’t know I like thinking about that when I see pictures such as these.

gettincountrydrunk:

how do people get like 100 messages in their ask a day and i get like none wtf is this shit

imaizumikagerou:

first the moon goes red now its snowing in spring theres only one reason for this…

image

dannyrandy:

i can’t believe people get so angry about a bisexual spider-man. whatever. have your shitty bi/homophobic opinions. you’re an asshole anyway. i just can’t believe you’re robbing everyone of all the glorious ‘swings both ways’ jokes